||[12 Nov 2005|02:34pm]
Monday, October 24, 2005
"There are at this moment 6, 470, 818, 671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are Evil men at war with Good. And some are Good struggling with Evil. 6 Billion people in The World. 6 Billion souls. And Sometimes all You Need is One."
This weekend, I had a lot of fun. Friday after school I came home and hung out with Gen and Eddy, got food, hung around, and then said goodbye to them both. We left for Jersey around six I think. If I recall correctly we got there around eightish. Finally, we were there. I was happy to see Nicole ("muffin") again, I missed her a whole lot. And of course, Pat was there too. I missed him too of course. Nicole, Pat, and I all hung out that night. We pretty much just hung around and what not. We went to Taco Bell, for Pat's second time - and mine as well, except, my first time was in New York. Anyways, we went to Taco Bell. That was a good time, and than, we were off to Wendy's to get our free Frosty's. I have to say, I do love those kids. It's always a good time. After that we went to Walmart. Haha, oh god. Nicole and I got a black and white camera for homecomming and then we just wasted time and did well, whatever made it interesting. So, taco bell, wendy's, and walmart. Enough said - it was a funny night. Pat left around eleven thirty, and, after showering Nicole and I went to sleep.. I guess around one thirty.
Saturday morning came quick enough. We woke up around nine thirty, tenish.. I got dressed and ready, kind of. Sweatshirt &jeans. Total scrub out, why look nice when you're going to have your hair done for you? ..Right? Haha. So by eleven thirty, we went to the hair place, and I pretty much told the women, I don't want it tight on my head - and uh, have fun. That was it. My hair actually came out well. I liked it a lot. And Nicole's did too. Her hair was actually really cool. So, the hair was done. One step down - a billion more to go. The dresses were hung and the shoes were out. The makeup was all ready too. We ate some pizza and just hung out, took some crazy pictures, and then before we knew it, Nicole's aunt was over, and it was time to get ready. First came the make-up. Oh wow. Hahaha, and then came the girly tips that Nicole and I knew nothing about and were introduced to, all too soon. Raincoats, Band-aids, and more. Too much to even get into to. But, Nicole knows what I mean and, I will leave it at that. Haha. Five thirty came soon enough, and everyone began to come. Pictures took what seemed like forever although, pictures mean memories - and you can never have enough of them. Everyone looked great. Everyone. That's the one thing I like, seeing everyone all dressed up. Although, when you become close with someone, you like them either way. And you see them at their best and worst, it's nice to every - once in a blue moon - every so often at a nice formal event, see them dressed up. Soon enough, we were off to the school. I knew about five or six kids, and that was it - yet still, I had an amazing time. Brian, thank you for asking me to go with you. Nicole, thanks for making me follow through with it, and for being a best friend - oh and, for band-aids and raincoats. Hahaha. No seriously, I had a good time. I miss it all too soon, and too much. After the dance was dunkin` donuts, and whatever else.. and Pat's. Movies. Talking. Sleep. It was a fun night, that's for sure.
Sunday morning I was awaken far too early. First, by a dog jumping into bed with me. And secondly, by my mom's phone call. Eight AM and it was time to go home. Or "home". I slept the whole hour and a half back. Then got home and relaxed, or tried too. Then it was off to Eddy's for the day. His little cousin is adorable, that's all I have to say. Hahaa. Princess, hope you enjoyed your birthday - and sorry for making you wear your little princess crown in frount of your family. Haha, you liked every second of it though. Anyway, sunday was a long ass day. I passed out around nine thirty, and that was that.
Mondays always suck. Always. The day wasn't that bad. School wasn't all that bad. Or so I thought. By the end of the night, I want to die. That's it. It's been a day from hell. I'm going in the shower, and going to bed. Hopefully, I'll wake up and be anywhere but here.
The furthest places from home, feel like home. I had so much fun in Jersey, and I miss it. I've lost a lot this past year - and right now, I'm trying to just, learn to look at what I've got and not weigh it against what I've lost. Back to the quote at the begining of this entry.. It's true. It's very, very true. There are so many people in the world, some with similar cases, similar situations, and others with different ones. When it all comes down to it, all of us have something in common, and probably a lot more than we think or will ever know. Even so, so many people and when it all comes down to it, sometimes, you only need one. One. One person, one soul, one heart - just one person. Figure out who that person is, and hold on to it. We all should. Sometimes, all you need is that one - other times, it's all you have.
It's only me.
I need to start opening up more. I need to trust more, I need to stop fearing what I feel. I need to speak my mind. I'm going to say it all one day. Tell it all. Explain myself, and what I'm feeling with no holding back. When I finally get the courage, when I finally find the right way to say it and, to show it. One day, I'll do it. And I'll learn to do it with everyone. Except those of course, who I couldn't possibly ever do it. This worlds a confusing place. Somewhere you could easily feel lost in. Something you can easily learn to be scared of. I need to learn to live not in fear.